WorkPuzzle

The Flip Side of Panic

Do you feel somewhat paralyzed as a result of the current economic downturn?  If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you’re aware that this reaction is normal.  In previous discussions, we’ve addressed how to cope with the intense anxiety and despair that many are feeling due to the current state of affairs, lay-offs, etc.

Panic is designed to help us survive.  Unfortunately, our nervous systems weren’t designed to manage 24/7 media reminders of doom and gloom.  They were designed to help us run from Tigers!  As a result, panic can induce an “out-of-control” feeling in many of us.

What if I told you that you could learn to control panic?  An overwhelming feeling of panic/anxiety can actually be the beginning of a healthy coping process, rather than result in mounting feelings of helplessness.

How do you tame continuous feelings of panic/despair?  The answer comes in understanding that Panic and Reason are on opposite sides of the same continuum.  If you can get your mind to organize, reason, plan, and take action, you can control panic.

Take for instance the recent events on the Hudson River. Under extremely stressful conditions, Captain Sully Sullenberger managed to guide his plane to a safe water landing.

Is he really that different than the rest of us?  Lets take a look:

“It was the worst sickening pit of your stomach, falling through the floor feeling I’ve ever felt in my life.  I knew immediately it was very bad....My initial reaction was one of disbelief.  ‘I can’t believe this is happening. This doesn’t happen to me!' ". (Interview w/ Katie Couric on 60 Minutes)

Asked what he meant by that, Sullenberger said:

"I meant that I had this expectation that my career would be one in which I didn’t crash an airplane.”

So far he is exactly like you and me.  He first felt tremendous panic and disbelief.  If you’ve read my blogs on the Science of Survival, you know that everyone caught in stressful circumstances goes through the grief process.  The difference between those who survive and those who don’t, is how quickly they proceed through the stages.

Sullenberger went through them quickly.  He panicked, was then in Denial (“This isn’t happening to me!”), then Acceptance and finally Action.  He explains:

"The physiological reaction to this was very strong.  I had to force myself to use my training.  It took some concentration, but I forced calm.”

Sullenberger followed this up by telling Katie that he organized his thoughts and carried out action steps.

This is a good example of how the Panic/Reason Response works.  If you can get your mind to organize, plan, and execute, you’ll tip the seesaw toward the healthy side, feel a lot better as a result, and actually do something productive.  Helping your employees and clients learn to siphon through their panic will do you both wonders!  Take some action today rather than staring blindly at the Hudson.

"A Fool with a Plan"

Last week, I had the honor of speaking at the same venue as T. Boone Pickens and Ron Peltier, two very inspiring professionals.

Prudential California Realty (Home Services) hosted their Second Annual Conference in Palm Springs, California. The company’s top 150 agents converged with the intention of networking, sharing successful business practices, and conversing over how to address current challenges.

These high-end Realtors (with commissions over 1 million per year) proved to be a group of highly professional, inquisitive, and confident, yet humble individuals. They have clearly practiced the principles of Survival and Resilience in order to thrive as they have.

The kind of income they make is no accident. These diligent agents practice discipline in executing their well-thought-out business plans. They perform tasks hour-by-hour and day-by-day, to arrive at a successful end-result.

Highlights from listening to the other speakers include:

•T. Boone Pickens stated that “A fool with a plan is better than a genius without a plan.”  He was speaking primarily of a plan to get our country out of our dependence on foreign oil.  He has a great plan that deserves a good look.  You can check it out yourself at www.pickensplan.com

•Ron Pelteir reported that in his last meeting with Warren Buffett, Buffett stated, “We are in an economic Pearl Harbor.”  As a result, he sees valuable purchasing opportunities and has bought without worrying if we are “at a bottom”.  Plain and simple… “value is value”.

During the Q & A part of my own presentation, the discussion focused around my description of the Stages of the Grief Process.  I addressed how agents can help their clients move from the Denial, Pain, Anger and Depression Stages toward the Stage of Acceptance.

Only in the Acceptance Stage can clients make decisions to buy and sell without unnecessarily waiting for the most opportune time.  Clearly, many clients continue to refuse to accept the reality that their homes are not worth what they once were.  Through our discussion, the agents discovered the traits of people who survive and thrive difficult scenarios.

They also learned that educating clients about the Cycle of Grief can have a great benefit.  That is, if you can elicit a confession from the client regarding where they are in The Grief Cycle this might provide the motivation necessary to move beyond the stage they are in, and ultimately arrive at Acceptance.

The agents and I learned a lot from the speakers and from each other…there is so much more I could write about. Thank you to all the participants for inviting me to join you. I had a great time.

Finding the Pearls in a Crisis as an Organization

As an organization, it is easy to become inwardly focused during a time of difficulty or crisis.  While some of this cannot be avoided, it is important not to lose sight of the horizon.  There is a future out there, and that future will one day become your organization’s reality.

If 30% of us get stronger and better during difficult circumstances, doesn’t it make sense to conceptualize ways of indentifying who those people are in your organization and support their efforts?  I’m not talking about pre-selecting those who you think are going to survive.  That doesn’t work. 

Instead, I’m suggesting you notice which of the people on your team are selecting themselves by displaying the transformational coping skills of commitment, control, and challenge.  These are the people in which you should invest resources.  Your investment will pay a big dividend in future performance and increased commitment to your organization.
 
Is your organization the only one suffering challenges?  Of course not.  Some of the 30% mentioned above are being arbitrarily jettisoned from their organizations.  There are others who are not getting adequate support and opportunity from their organizations (ex. some employees are getting hours cut).

These are talented survivors who have been dealt a difficult hand.  Like me, many will need to go through a process of grief and self-discovery.  But at some point, their batteries will be re-charged and they’ll come out with guns-a-blazing.  Will you be there to find them?  

If you’re too inwardly focused, you won’t be able to engage these individuals.  Besides, they won’t be attracted to organizations that have their “heads in the sand” anyway.   Progressive companies are always recruiting.  Survivors know where the escape hatches are.

 

Finding the Pearls in a Crisis

The current economic funk doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom.  But it feels this way for the millions affected personally.  I know it’s really hard to see, but many of you will thrive more as a result of it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not out whistling a happy tune every day.  However, research has found that in stressful business environments, 30% of us will become stronger and better at what we do.  With this experience, we will be able to achieve more and perform better in the future.  I want to be part of that group.

Stress is an interesting thing.  It can devastate some, but invigorate others.  Those who approach stress with a sense of curiosity, hard work, fortitude and the characteristics of resilience (remember: the 3 c's), can unveil aspects of themselves that they didn’t know previously existed.  If we are able to fend off despair, we can enter a period of self-renewal.  This process plants the seeds of new growth and new opportunity.

Let me give you an example from my own life.  I lost a great deal of money in the Tech crash of 2000-2001.  My hope of someday having the freedom to figure out “what I really wanted to do” was quickly dismantled.  From this disappointment I had to make my way through the stages of grief (Shock and Denial, Pain and Guilt, Anger and Bargaining, Depression, Reflection, Reconstruction, Acceptance).

As a result of this experience, I realized I was putting off developing what I really wanted until some future arbitrary date.  This deferred hope was not a reliable platform on which to build my future.  I realized that I needed to start doing “what I really wanted to do” in the here and now.  Where I once was feeling loss and despair, I was now feeling a new found self-renewal… an opportunity.  I became excited about learning, growing, and ultimately carving a new path with renewed vigor.

While I learned a lot from this crisis, I constantly have to re-learn this lesson based on the new circumstances that come my way in life.  This same principle applies to organizations.  Tomorrow I’ll share how current economic difficulties can be a catalyst for making your organization stronger.
 

7 Dating Tips from Dr. Dave (That Will Also Help You Be a Better Hiring Manager)

I’m not sure whether this discussion will help you more with your dating life or your potential success as a recruiter.  Since Dr. Phil seems to have a lock on all the sensational topics, I’ll continue to focus on the business side of psychology.  
 
Building a pipeline of talented people who are resilient and like to work hard is no easy task. We make it far more difficult when we forget the simple rules of interpersonal etiquette.  

A good analogy to appropriate expectations when recruiting is to remember the common dos and don’ts of dating (to make this read easier, I’m going to use female pronouns, since I’m a guy)

1. Get the guts to ask. Few people ever get married without first getting up the courage to ask someone out. This is also true in recruiting. Your first and only goal initially should be to get together for a brief time.
2. Ask about her. Don’t drone on and on about you. How many of you like to hear your date drone on and on about themselves without wanting to know anything about you? This is a bad sign. She’ll quickly know that you desire the relationship for your own purposes and care very little about meeting her needs.
3. Know your competition, but don’t put them down. There is nothing wrong with being confident about what you can offer, but be careful in being negative about the competition. If you began to slander your date’s friends, she will probably be disgusted by your lack of character and drop you like a rock. You can’t repel and attract at the same time.
4. Get the next date- but don’t ask her to get married. You would never dream of scaring your first date with an offer to tie the knot. She would freak out and never see you again! Move slowly with a constant assessment of where she is in the process of relationship building and proceed accordingly.
5. When you sense you know that you can meet her needs, ask for the commitment. There is a time and place to ask for the person to come on board and challenge them to do what is necessary to make the commitment, i.e. “forsaking all others”. Don’t chicken-out here. If she says no, you can still continue to date.
6. DO remember that, unlike dating (for most people), you can date several people at the same time. By having a way to track your full pipeline of prospects, you don’t have to feel terribly disappointed by any one reaction. Always have plenty of people who represent the entire “dating” process from first date to close.
   
7. Never treat people as objects. Treating people like objects is never a good idea. People have a sixth sense about this. If you’re dating a person who is fairly desperate for a relationship, she might put up with this for a while. But sooner or later, she’ll leave. Most people can sense that you have no interest in them beyond what they are generating for you and your organization.

By having a way to track your full pipeline of prospects, you don’t have to feel terribly disappointed by any one reaction. Always have plenty of people who represent the entire “dating” process from first date to close.

If you’re struggling with these concepts, you may need to do some remedial work to reset your framework for these types of interactions.

The first step it to examine yourself. Do you treat those who work in your organization with little regard for who they are as individuals? Or, do those around you know that you’re interested in their growth for their sake and the sake of the company?  If you’re unsure, ask a few people who you can trust to give you an honest answer. If you do have this tendency there is always a very simple rule of thumb to apply in every interaction. “How would I like to be treated if I were in the other person’s shoes?”

The second step is to consider whether you’re patient.   Remember that “impatience” is the fruit of pride. We want others to be patient with us.  We want others to be interested in our strengths and how we use them daily.  We want others to be curious about us as people who have lives outside of the office. It only makes sense to extend these courtesies to those around us.

If you want to build an environment of attachment and performance, you need to seriously consider how to shape your own strengths around the above solution. The real trick is keeping it up after the dating and during the marriage.

A Compulsion to Fix Things

This past weekend I was reminded of how I am cursed with a need to fix things.  This is a shame because I really don’t have the training to do so.

I’m not talking about psychology here;  I’m talking about things…household things.  For instance, during the first 18 years of my marriage I kept a clothes dryer “alive” that had been given to us when my wife and I were first married.  And, when it was given to us, it was already ten years old!

My initial commitment to a yearly ritual of reviving this old clothes dryer began with the poverty-driven need I had in graduate school to save cost or starve.  Out of desperation, I would extract broken parts and take them into the appliance parts supply store.   It was common for the counter guy to invite the entire staff out for a good laugh and history lesson about “the days when all parts were steel like this one.”

My compulsion continued long after it would have been less time consuming, more energy efficient, and well within my financial capabilities to replace the monster.   But, I was not to be defeated.  I simply had to fix it.

This past weekend my water heater began leaking. My wife and I actually had a fight over this ridiculous compulsion of mine to prove that “I’ve still got it”.  And, of course, the need to save a few bucks.

It took all of Saturday to do the research and all of Sunday to install it.  Around the Mashburn house that evening you could hear things coming out of my mouth like, “We’ve got hot water”, or ”Try taking a bath”.  It was like I had done something powerful and magic.  I think I felt manlier.

What does this have to do with recruiting, coaching or personal performance you ask?  Does this somehow apply to the subject matter of this blog?  I have no idea.  Maybe someone smarter and more creative could come up with some compelling esoteric description of how this could help you, but not me.  I was too focused on conquering my water heater over the weekend!

6 Reasons Professionals Measure Performance

If you spend any time watching sports on a professional level, you’re keenly aware that the biggest difference between pro and recreational teams (outside of talent) is that they measure everything. And I do mean everything!   Why?  Professionals know that without measurement there is no way for them to assess and predict performance of a team or an individual.

Without exception, measuring systems exists in every sport. But let’s take baseball as an example.  Here are some of the things baseball professionals measure:

 
On-Base Percentage (OBS):  the number of times a player reaches base divided by total plate appearances.

Batting Average (BA):  the number of hits a player gets divided by “at bats.”

Slugging Percentage (SLG):  the number of total bases divided by “at bats.”   This is a little more difficult to explain—there is a formula for this if you care to research it more.

Earned Run Average (ERA):  approximately the number of runs allowed per nine innings.

Strikeouts Per Nine Innings (K/9i),  Strikeouts per Walk (K/BB), Walks plus Hits per Innings Pitched (WHIP), Opponent On-Base plus Slugging  Percentage (OOPS), etc.

Here is my favorite:  SLOB (Slugging % x On-Base %).   Or course this has a double meaning—it is said to also describe those who sit around and think about baseball statistics!

There are at least 90 commonly used statistics (and yes, they all have acronyms) in baseball.  This may all sound a bit ridiculous, but exceptionally talented and deeply competitive baseball professionals enjoy this level of scrutiny. It compels them to practice, find patterns, find weaknesses and improve. 

Here are the top 6 reasons that professionals depend upon measurement:

1. They can’t set goals without it.
2. They can’t measure progress without it.
3. They can’t forecast results without it.
4. They can’t compare performance without it.
5. They can’t assess changes and fix problems without it.
6. They certainly can’t beat the competition without it.

Let me ask you a question, and I encourage to answer honestly:  Do you approach your work as a professional or as an amateur?  

Professionals measure, and amateurs typically “fly by the seat of their pants.”   

5 Things We Can Learn From Great Managers in Peru

Over the past year, I have had the pleasure of becoming friends with a group of people who have developed a large real estate construction and management company in Lima, Peru.   What brought this to mind today was that they happen to be in-country this week.

I recently traveled to Peru myself as part of this project.   On this trip, I was able to witness firsthand the spirit of work among the people there.  More specifically, I was able to gain exposure to a group of companies that seemed to possess an unlimited sense of hope and rejuvenation.

The country of Peru has an interesting economic history.  Like many Latin America countries in the ‘70s and ‘80s, it was plagued with numerous economic problems such as high inflation, narcotics trading, corruption, failed government initiatives, etc. 

In the mid-‘90s, Peru underwent considerable free-market economic reforms that produced significant economic growth, spurred foreign investment, and brought inflation under control.   For an economy that was once primarily based on agriculture and the mining of natural resources, a transition has occurred to where more than 70% of their GDP is now derived from the services.

For those people who grew up in Peru during very difficult and near hopeless economic conditions, the new economy is perceived as their best chance to accomplish something significant.  During my time as a business professional, I have rarely witnessed as much talent voluntarily working long hours towards a mutual goal.

But, it went a little deeper.  Many of these people saw their work as a way to tap the very best of who they are.  Their management teams recognized this energy and made it part of their organizations. 
Here are some specific things I noticed about their managers: 

1. They expect their organizations to hire the best talent. They settle for nothing but the best.
2. They expect these talented people to set the bar high and be fully engaged in their work.
3. They measure everything and everyone.   The managers made it clear that without reliable data you can’t set meaningful goals and assess daily progress.
4. They are constantly trying to discover what their clients want.
5. Most importantly, they have the courage to be constantly active. They don’t get stuck in inactivity, which many organizations and people tend to do.

I was inspired, and I wish that more organizations in our country could tap into these principles.  While the financial results were impressive among these companies, the positive energy and passion is what caught my attention the most.

Will This Be a "Happy" New Year for You? Part 3

I hope that some of you have begun the process of identifying and pursuing your “ideal self.”  If you want to improve the way you recruit, coach, or manage those around you, it’s imperative that you do so.

As the owner of one large company aptly said,

“Continued learning and personal growth are essential for the evolution of a world-class leader.”

If you drag your feet and ignore this powerful exercise, you’ll miss a chance to improve your level of overall well-being in the upcoming year.

Some people resist these types of exercises because it makes them feel like they are admitting weakness or inwardly confessing that something is wrong with them.  The opposite is true.   Working on these issues is really an admission that you want to improve and that you have an “ideal self” waiting to be activated.   

My background is in Clinical Psychology. I continue to see clients in my private practice 2 days a week. Over the course of the last 21 years, I’ve logged well over 30,000 hours of psychotherapy with people having a range of difficulties. Regardless of the presenting problem, at the heart of each person’s transformation is the struggle to shed the “false self” (see my previous blog) and to pursue alignment between the individual’s ‘real self” and their “ideal self.”  

People undergoing psychotherapy build up layers of protection that make it very difficult for them to identify their “ideal self”.  These layers of protection are the result of adversity, trauma, or some other significant set of circumstances.   For these people, this process can be very long and painful.  But, it is rewarding.  I’ve consistently seen it free people to do things they could never have dreamed of doing before this transformation.

Let me give you an example.  Several years ago, a woman came to see me who had lived a life that resembles most of our nightmares. Her parents rented her out for child pornography films and threatened her life on several occasions when she resisted. As an adult, she had shown little respect for herself and was involved a several very abusive relationships.  Despite having an incredibly high IQ and natural artistic talent, she was working as a housekeeper when she started psychotherapy.

After several years of therapy, she began to sell her art work, discontinued all her abusive relationships, and began to form friendships with people who she had always believed were “better” than her. With continued growth, she later envisioned, developed, and is now operating a vocational school in Uganda.  This school is for individuals who have themselves lived lives of horror.  The purpose of this school is to equip these individuals to achieve what they didn’t think possible and work towards a decent living.

Of course, most people like you and me do not have to fight against such devastating circumstances, nor do we need the help of a psychologist to guide us through the process of identifying our “ideal self.” 

But, don’t lose the principle just because the scale of issue may be smaller in your own life.  Food is necessary to nurse a very sick person back to health, but it is also required for normal people to maintain themselves.   I’ve applied this process in my own life, and I've seen it produce changes in the lives of those around me.    Hopefully, you’ll give it a try as well.

Note:  New to Workpuzzle?  Read Part 1 and Part 2 on this topic to learn the process of identifying your “ideal self.”

Will This Be a "Happy" New Year for You? Part 2

How does a person go about identifying their “ideal self”?  Some people have an idea of what kind of person they want to become—this vision just needs to be brought into focus.  Others haven’t really given this concept very much conscious thought.

Even if you’re in the second group, perceiving what your ideal self will be is not as difficult as it may sound.  Subconsciously, each of us is haunted by conflicts around this ideal, and your mind is constantly trying to reconcile these conflicts.  Tapping into the work that your mind has already done shortcuts the progression necessary to identify the ideal self.   

The following is a process that I have personally used to measure my progress toward living aligned to my ideal self. It may seem complicated at first, but it gets clearer as you begin to work on it yourself.  

First I try to assess how closely I can align my real self (who I am in both strengths and character) with my ideal self (the self that I want to become).  To make this assessment, I need to know the following things:

1. What character traits, virtues and actions I want to display (my ideal self).
2. What strengths and expertise I bring to the table (my real self).
3. What characteristics I currently display that  are self-centered (thus interfering with alignment).

Sit down with a notepad and pen and do the following: 

Write down a description (characteristics, behavior, values) of your best self. These would be  those characteristics that people love about you, and are part your natural makeup. The best self is the alignment of your ideal self and real self.

Next, write down characteristics of your worst self (behaviors, values etc). These are the characteristics that people generally dislike about you and usually are rooted in dark values such as selfishness, need for admiration or superiority, excessive need for safety and security, etc.

Finally write down what is your “ought self.” These are those behaviors that seem like they are good and decent but feel forced, unnatural, and more of a burden. These traits keep you from being real. Sometimes, those whom you trust are better able to recognize these behaviors than you are. Ask them if they can share with you ways in which you burn unnecessary energy trying to be someone you believe you’re supposed to be. 

Once these are written out, condense them into a list that you can write on a small piece of paper that will fit in your wallet or purse. Throughout the year, frequently use idle time to review how you’re doing. Ask yourself, which self am I living today? Is it making me and others around me happy? How can I get myself back on track?

If you do the above, I can’t guarantee that your business will pick up. But I can guarantee that you and those you influence will feel better about you and you’ll have a better  measuring stick to assess how you did in 2009.  Then when the economy does pick up, you’ll be more poised to do better than you would have done otherwise.