About 12 years ago, I was burned out in my
work-life.  At the time, I found it difficult to maintain almost any
degree of excitement towards my daily routine. This was a new feeling for
me. Up to this point, I had found it easy to capture enthusiasm towards
my work. 

What caused this situation to develop?
 There were probably several factors. Part of the issue was related to a
transition at home.  I was being freed up from many parenting duties (I
had one child in college and two more about to enter), and the nature of my
role was changing.  

During that period (that I have since referred
to as "Dave's Doldrums"), I was introduced to an exercise that
eventually helped free me from those very doldrums. The task was called
the "Sage Letter." 

I know it sounds a bit far out, and I
usually avoid anything that remotely smells of pop psychology.  But I was
desperate, and I thought I'd give it a try.

The exercise involved imagining myself as
an 85-year-old man looking back at the events of my life. From that perspective,
I wrote a letter of advice to myself at my current age (I was 40 at the time).
 I know this sounds simple, but it actually takes some time to write such
a letter.  I had to seriously dive headlong into this somewhat bizarre
task of "becoming" this 85-year-old man. 

I eventually knew that I had arrived at
the "right place" when I truly felt confronted with an actual
85-year-old version of myself.  I started uncovering my hidden blind spots
and aversion to risk. The pure wisdom of brutal honesty suddenly poured out on
the page.  I started to understand why I was experiencing these doldrums,
and I could see how much self-sabotage was going on in my life.

This exercise helped me gain some much-needed
clarity. The primary insight I experienced was an awareness of the risk
aversion that had crept into my life. It had not been there before, but had
slowly and insidiously developed.  But, it didn't stop there. The letter
also revealed hidden truths about how to improve my marriage, my friendships
and my spiritual life. 

Since that experience, I cut back on my
private practice, began a consulting company, taught graduate classes at a
local university, started leading a ministry at my Church, and helped start
Tidemark and see it grow.  My energy and enthusiasm for life returned.

Why am I disclosing all this?  It's
because I recently ran across some research explaining the risk aversion that I
had felt during this critical juncture in my life.   It is actually quite
common and typically happens during an individual’s child rearing years.
 The result is a "freezing" of the ability a person has to
thoughtfully make big life decisions and it later leads to a profound sense of
regret. 

The research was summarized in a recent
book, 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans,
written by Karl Pillemer, a human ecology professor at Cornell University. Dr.
Pillemer spent five years interviewing more than 1000 Americans who are over
65 years old. 

In the book, he distills their wisdom into
principles on work, life, marriage, parenting, and other topics. He also
describes how many of these elderly people regret having been risk averse
earlier in their lives. 

In the next edition, I'll share more about
this research.  But in the mean time,  I'd like you to think about
how this relates to the people you interview, recruit and manage. Who could you
advise to use the "Sage Letter" exercise? Or, maybe it is time you
give it a try to yourself.   

Question:  Are there any
opportunities you missed in your professional life because you were risk
adverse?  What did you learn from the experience?

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Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle.