A few years back, I wrote a blog with the above title that became one of our most popular blog entries. I reviewed it recently in order to address a manager's concern, and realized that a revisit to this important topic may be due. Some of the information below is from the original blog, but included are new thoughts garnered along the way…
It's no secret that managing and coaching those around us can feel futile if those being coached lack confidence in their ability to succeed. We've all witnessed talented people lose their spark and confidence, begin to wilt, and eventually begin to drop below performance standards. Most of the time it feels like we can’t predict who will go which way. And sometimes we can’t. But, here are some clues and suggestions…
At the time I wrote the article, in 2009, I was watching "American Idol" (OK, I admitted I watched it- and still do) when one of the judges, Simon, who happened to be pretty candid and generally correct, asked a contestant, "Do you think that you can win this?" Her answer, or lack thereof, proved that she clearly had serious doubts as to whether she could! And you can guess what happened. She was soon voted off the show.
Psychologist, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, expert on the subject of confidence explains:
"Confidence consists of positive expectations for favorable outcomes. Confidence influences the willingness to invest – to commit money, time, reputation, emotional energy, or other resources – or to withhold or hedge investment. This investment, or its absence, shapes the ability to perform. In that sense, confidence lies at the heart of civilization. Everything about an economy, a society, an organization, or a team depend on it. Every step we take, every investment we make, is based on whether we feel we can count on ourselves and others to accomplish what has been promised. Confidence determines whether our steps – individually or collectivity – are tiny and tentative or big and bold." (Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Confidence: Leadership and the Psychology of Turnarounds, 2004)
Recruiting people is only the first stage of an ongoing process. It's your job as a coach, manager, and/or mentor, to bring out the best in others, and that begins with assessing their confidence. They have to believe that they can succeed in order to succeed.
This past weekend I caught the last two holes of the British Open. I witnessed Darren Clarke, the least likely person to win the trophy, do it three strokes ahead of the runners up. What struck me as I watched him on and off throughout various news stories the entire weekend, is that it appeared like he expected to win all along.
After the win, a commentator said that Clarke had consulted with his sports psychologist before the Open, who told him: “Don’t let your golf game determine your attitude, let your attitude determine your golf game.”
So…what do you do if your agents begin to "lose," or rarely show a sense of confidence?
- Ask them: "Do you believe that you will succeed?" If they don't, or if they say yes in a tentative or not believable manner:
- Then ask them what they believe the outcome will be if they don't really believe they can achieve their goals? (Even though my graduate courses were over 25 years ago, I can tell you that those who believed they would finish and succeed, did! Those who didn't have that confidence, failed!)
- Once you have them talking openly about their uncertainty and its impact on their performance, ask them to remember a time when they did succeed – big time! Get them to remember their attitude going into the situation. What was their level of confidence? Did they expect success? How did they envision success?
- And lastly, remind them that their best confidence comes when they aren't taking on important tasks and projects to bolster their ego, rather when they are doing it to contribute to clients, co-workers and society at large. Only under these conditions can one sustain great performance. Because when things don't go well, it's not about your ego, it's about your contribution!
And remind them…“Don’t let your sales so far this year determine your attitude, let your attitude determine your sales the remainder of the year!”
Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.
