Do you have a coaching mindset? Do you know anyone who does? I would bet that the greatest leaders influencing your life exhibited a natural coaching mindset. Those leaders are few and far between.
Why are they so rare and why do those who possess or learn the coaching mindset have such a powerful influence? The answer lies in what they do that is the opposite of what the rest of us do: At the end of most conversations they
know you a little better and you leave with a feeling that they truly care
about who you are.
These are the people who listen, probe your experiences, find out what you
are learning, and ask more questions.
Why is this so important in relationships and why is it vital to great
coaching?
Below are some reasons why being an Active listener is vital to coaching:
1. We are all puzzles to ourselves.
Nobody really knows their "self." No one thoroughly understands who they are or what prompts their thought or decision making processes.
As a good listener you are helping them fit more of the puzzle pieces together. You are not defining their "self" but working with them to better understand what drives them. You are working alongside them in this mystery we call life!
Even those who have solid values, a strong faith, and good friends continue to need help figuring out who they are, what they stand for and where they are going. You can be a valued and active piece in filling that role by helping many to assimilate some of the missing pieces.
2. Coaching Demonstrates Love.
I know that many of you are scared of such a strong word in connection to coaching; but I have news for you; wanting to help people piece together a framework of understanding; what makes them tick and what path they are on is exhibiting Love.
The opposite of Love in a business relationship is not hate, it's exploitation. If you actively listen and ask leading questions then you will get to know your employee. This again is displaying a Coaching Mindset and should ward off any temptation to exploit those you coach. It is a great litmus test of the ultimate motive. Are you in it for mutual flourishing or for your own needs?
3. "Listen First; Talk Later."
The best coaches are intent on developing, in their agent, the ability and habit of reflecting on all that they do; dissecting what worked and what didn't and improving their future performance and success.
Coaching is not teaching. Coaching is helping a person to continually assess what they are doing, critiquing and learning from those experiences.
Sports psychologists are experts at this. They don't teach, instead they aid a person in becoming aware of differences in good performance and poor performance.
Continue to develop your Coaching Mindset and I guarantee you will see success in even the most doubtful agent.
More importantly, everyone will benefit.
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Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle.
