I hope that some of you have begun the process of identifying and pursuing your “ideal self.”  If you want to improve the way you recruit, coach, or manage those around you, it’s imperative that you do so.

As the owner of one large company aptly said,

“Continued learning and personal growth are essential for the evolution of a world-class leader.”

If you drag your feet and ignore this powerful exercise, you’ll miss a chance to improve your level of overall well-being in the upcoming year.

Some people resist these types of exercises because it makes them feel like they are admitting weakness or inwardly confessing that something is wrong with them.  The opposite is true.   Working on these issues is really an admission that you want to improve and that you have an “ideal self” waiting to be activated.   

My background is in Clinical Psychology. I continue to see clients in my private practice 2 days a week. Over the course of the last 21 years, I’ve logged well over 30,000 hours of psychotherapy with people having a range of difficulties. Regardless of the presenting problem, at the heart of each person’s transformation is the struggle to shed the “false self” (see my previous blog) and to pursue alignment between the individual’s ‘real self” and their “ideal self.”  

People undergoing psychotherapy build up layers of protection that make it very difficult for them to identify their “ideal self”.  These layers of protection are the result of adversity, trauma, or some other significant set of circumstances.   For these people, this process can be very long and painful.  But, it is rewarding.  I’ve consistently seen it free people to do things they could never have dreamed of doing before this transformation.

Let me give you an example.  Several years ago, a woman came to see me who had lived a life that resembles most of our nightmares. Her parents rented her out for child pornography films and threatened her life on several occasions when she resisted. As an adult, she had shown little respect for herself and was involved a several very abusive relationships.  Despite having an incredibly high IQ and natural artistic talent, she was working as a housekeeper when she started psychotherapy.

After several years of therapy, she began to sell her art work, discontinued all her abusive relationships, and began to form friendships with people who she had always believed were “better” than her. With continued growth, she later envisioned, developed, and is now operating a vocational school in Uganda.  This school is for individuals who have themselves lived lives of horror.  The purpose of this school is to equip these individuals to achieve what they didn’t think possible and work towards a decent living.

Of course, most people like you and me do not have to fight against such devastating circumstances, nor do we need the help of a psychologist to guide us through the process of identifying our “ideal self.” 

But, don’t lose the principle just because the scale of issue may be smaller in your own life.  Food is necessary to nurse a very sick person back to health, but it is also required for normal people to maintain themselves.   I’ve applied this process in my own life, and I've seen it produce changes in the lives of those around me.    Hopefully, you’ll give it a try as well.

Note:  New to Workpuzzle?  Read Part 1 and Part 2 on this topic to learn the process of identifying your “ideal self.”