Today’s WorkPuzzle is the final installment in our discussion on building quick rapport with the candidates you meet during interviews.

Establishing an environment where both parties understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well is the most important objective of a first meeting with a candidate.  The “perception of fit” we’ve referenced earlier in the discussion (Part 1,  Part 2) is a two-way street.  Unless you truly like the person (and the individual likes you), the perception of fit will feel contrived.

How do you experience this level of genuineness in a 45-minute interview?  We’ll draw upon what Robin Dreeke references as the most important technique he teaches in the FBI’s training on building rapport–ego suspension.

Learning to Suspend Your Ego During Interviews

Robin explains the importance of learning to suspend your ego when meeting people for the first time.

Have you ever heard someone make a false statement and NOT corrected them?  [This is an example of suspending your ego.]  …Suspending our individual egos is difficult because of our genetics [as humans].   Conversely, it is one of the best techniques to utilize … to have a positive interaction and attain rapid rapport.

What does it mean to suspend your ego during a conversation?

Suspending your ego is nothing more complex than putting other individual’s wants, needs, and perceptions of reality ahead of your own. 

Most times, when two individuals engage in a conversation, each patiently waits for the other person to be done with whatever story he or she is telling.  Then, the other person tells his or her own story, usually related to the topic and often times in an attempt to have a better or more interesting story.

Individuals practicing good ego suspension would continue to encourage the other individual to talk about his or her story, neglecting their own need to share what they think is a great story.

This may sound like a simple concept, but it is surprisingly difficult to do.   In fact, it is hardly ever done during normal day-to-day conversations. That’s one of the reason’s it so effective.

Becoming a Great Conversationalist

The key to implementing this technique is focus and self-awareness.  Remember what you’re trying to accomplish during the interview (building rapport) and don’t give into self-centered behavior.

Human beings are not genetically coded to care as much about others and their stories as much as they care about their own….  Common etiquette and courtesy dictates that individuals be given equal time to share their own story of the events in their own life. 

Those individuals who allow others to continue talking without taking their own turn are generally regarded as the best conversationalists….  They are the best at building [both] quick rapport and lasting rapport.

In this series, we’ve covered four of the ten techniques Robin explains in his book.  If you want to become more of an expert in building quick rapport during your interviews, buy a copy of Robin’s book and discover the other six techniques he teaches.   The book is a quick read (less than 100 pages) and cost just $3 in the Kindle format.

Robin’s techniques are also helpful for agents to use with their clients.  These are good topics to cover during sales meetings and agent training.

Bottom line:  If those in your organization are known for building great rapport with everyone they meet, the benefits will be both widespread and impactful.

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