Most of what we share on WorkPuzzle is based on research and the scientific findings of professionals who have published what they’ve learned.  I learn a lot by studying these sources, but I also learn from personal experience and the happenstance of life.  Today, I’ll share a principle I discovered many years ago, but saw play out in living color in a recent exchange with some of my family members.

A couple of weeks ago, one of our family’s cell phones went missing.  It happened to be the phone that my older boys share.  It is what we call a “community phone.”  The idea is that one of the boys can grab it before they head out of the house for some event.  When it is not being used, it is supposed to reside on a shelf next to where we keep the car keys.  So, when it got lost, I immediately got the “I didn’t have it last…” comments (almost in unison) from my sons.  

This isn’t the first time the phone has been lost and no one seemed to be motivated to find it (myself included)…..until this week.  My oldest son is flying to Baltimore on Friday for a college-prep seminar and needs to take the phone with him.  With this event looming, my wife became motivated to find the phone… “I’m not sending my son across the country, by himself without a phone!”  So, now one person has started to look for the missing phone.

To assist my overworked wife (I was still not motivated enough to actually help her search myself), I announced at the breakfast table on Monday that if someone did not find the phone by Wednesday evening, I was going to be forced to buy a new phone….and, my sons would have to pay for the replacement!

I thought this would get them moving, but surprisingly, it produced no action.  I think it was a combination of Wednesday being a long way from Monday (at least in a teenager’s mind) and the hope that this unfortunate turn of events would result in them getting a new, “cooler” phone—even if it did cost them a little money.

By Tuesday morning, there was still no noticeable effort towards finding the phone.  So, I was very pleased when my 8-year old daughter approached me with an unrelated request:  “Dad, I need to earn some money.  Do you have any jobs that I could do?”  Of course, I jumped on this opportunity and offered her $5 if she could find the phone.  Now, she was motivated!  She rifled through every coat pocket, backpack, and drawer in the house.  She left quite a mess behind her, but still no phone surfaced.

At dinner on Tuesday, I announced that there was only one day left to find the phone before I purchased a new one at their expense.  I also added some well-meant chiding about taking care of your belongings, managing resources carefully, and paying attention to details.  While this was all good information, it wasn’t sparking the motivation that I’d hoped for.  Then, something interesting happened:  My 15-year old son, after politely waiting for my phone monologue to finish, asked me a question:  “Dad, would it be OK if I went to my friend’s graduation party on Sunday?”  

Granting this request meant that I’d have to drive him to a nearby town and back, so he needed my help.  At this point, I again recognized an opportunity to create phone searching motivation.  So, I told him that if he could find the phone before Wednesday night, he could go to the party.

For the first time since we started working on this problem, he actually put some mental effort towards finding the phone.  In fact, he closed his eyes and thought hard for about a minute.  Then, he looked up and said:  “The phone is in my fly fishing vest in our storage locker.”  Sure enough, that’s where it was!

Here is the principle:  Self-interest is a powerful motivator.  In this case, neither financial penalties, nor financial gains produced enough motivation among the family to solve the problem.  Only when I tapped my son’s unique self-interest (need for social interaction), was his motivation finally sparked.  Not only was it sparked, it was engaged in such a powerful way that it resulted in him solving the problem with an amazing amount of speed and effectiveness.

Think about ways that you could be engaging the self-interests of those you manage, coach, and even recruit.  Resist the temptation to formulate universal incentives—the impact of these programs will be limited.  Instead, spend time discovering the unique self-interests of those you hope to motivate.  While you don’t want to use this information to wrongly manipulate, you can develop a healthy partnership between helping individuals get their personal needs met and generating motivation to address the greater good.