By river people, I'm not talking about the guy who lives in a van down by the river (like on Saturday Night Live). Rather, I'm referring to the type of person who keeps everyone around them hopeful and motivated to press on toward a goal, even when times get tough. Don't confuse my use of the term with what a few self-help gurus have suggested. I'm talking about these people in contrast to those (some by no fault of their own) who have become "rut people," or those who have been infected by the dreaded learned helplessness (LH). (I'll explain more about LH in the next edition.)
Over the past 25 years of providing psychotherapy, my chief mission has been to free people from unconscious ruts that control their lives. This isn't easy. People rarely see how they have boxed themselves into a view of themselves and a view of the world that limits their perspective, beliefs and actions.
When a person is in a rut through learned helplessness, they limit their own movement, growth, vision and freedom to act. They see the world in a fixed way, and try to convince everyone around them that their "rut trapped" perspective is indeed reality. The way they lead their life unveils consistent themes, describing their own personal rut repeatedly acted out.
A person who is not stuck in a rut, flows like a river, emanating wisdom, humor, and humility, even in difficult times. They may have a long list of things that haven't worked out, but have no regrets for their efforts.
When things are going well, economically and emotionally, it is much more difficult to differentiate the "rut people" from the "river people." In good times, everyone can fake their way to appearing like positive, hopeful geniuses. But when the tide goes out, you can sure see who isn't wearing a swimming suit! In difficult times, ruts are bound to show themselves. Even the most fluid people can be temporarily thrown into a rut in these extreme circumstances, simply because life isn't familiar or secure.
Losing a job, a home, and plans for the future can certainly appear as an insurmountable rut. "River people" however, don't allow themselves to get stuck there. They manage to continually pull themselves up and out of the rut, dust themselves off, and move on with life. I feel fortunate to know many river people and they are always refreshing and encouraging to be around. They are the Salt and Light of our world.
As leaders, you owe it to yourself and those you coach to be this Salt and Light for your organization, to give people hope. Whether you're coaching agents or interviewing new candidates, help people find hope and envision the opportunities that can unfold if they exercise the "formula for confidence." Help them realize their freedom and potential through new ideas, new innovations, new training, new commitments, new values, and perhaps even an entirely new direction.
You'll find that everyone within an organization benefits once every single individual tributaries finds their "flow," and can contribute their full potential once again. It's not only practical to encourage this hope, it's the right thing to do.
But, change is difficult – Even the most healthy, rational people tend to avoid change, preferring instead the security and safety of what is known. Ironically however, change can produce incredible growth, if responded to effectively. If you're interviewing new candidates without both empathy around change, PLUS the encouragement to change, you're missing an incredibly useful and helpful tool.
Have candidates answer this question: When have you experienced the most growth in your life? For most people the answer is when they were undergoing tremendous change, accompanied by uncertainty…perhaps when they were much younger.
It's normal to risk more when we're younger, because we don't have that much to lose. If you analyze that statement, you will begin to see the problem: Security and hanging onto what we've acquired becomes paramount for most of us when we're older. We cling to it and cherish it, without ever reflecting on its inherent value to our well-being.
Of course it's irresponsible to take foolish risks. But, you can also make the argument that it is foolish to follow a course of action simply because it offers the illusion of security.
In the next edition, I'll describe the concept of Learned Helplessness, so that you can better understand how people get stuck in ruts, and how you can help them out…
Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.
