In the last WorkPuzzle, we discovered an important principle:

The most effective hiring managers tend to be those who are the most influential during the interview.

Researchers tell us that for infrequent face-to-face meetings (like an interview or an interaction with a sales person), listening is the best way to build trust and create influence.

Being a good listener sounds easy enough. Why don’t more of us do it if it produces such great results?

It’s because active listening is not normal listening. It’s a special type of listening reserved for the most effective communicators.

What’s Normal Listening?

To understand this concept, we’ll again lean on Dr. Ron Friedman’s thoughts on this topic.

Passive listening is what your do when you’re attending a conference or taking in a television show at the end of the day.

Selective listening is the type of listening you do when a colleague stops to tell you about the traffic jam he had to endure on the way to work. You’re tuning in and out just long enough to convince him you’re paying attention.

Both passive and selective listening are a far cry from the form good therapists use, which is called active listening.

Effective hiring managers act more like therapists when they’re doing interviews. Their focus is on building rapport and making a strong connection with the candidate.

What’s Active Listening?

The best way to understand active listening is to break it down into components.

We’ll cover three active listening components today and three during our next WorkPuzzle.

1. Mental Presence. Being fully engaged on what is being said is the first component of active listening.

Your focus is placed entirely on what’s being said—not what you’ll say in response, or that important conference call you’ll have in an hour, or what you’re having for lunch….

Since workplace conversations often have two modes (talking and waiting to talk), it’s impossible to absorb the full meaning behind a speaker’s words when you’re mentally composing your next lines.

Stay completely focused on what your candidate is saying and let it fully sink into your mind.

2. Resisting the Temptation to Speak. Maintaining this type of focus is surprisingly difficult.

Dr. Friedman reminds us: This aspect of active listening means you don’t finish the other person’s sentences. Avoid making jokes. Never interrupt, even if it’s to agree.

You’ll know you’re making progress if you feel like you want to say something, but you don’t give into that urge.

3. Listening Posture. When you’re in the presence of a good listener, you can tell there’s more going on than just the exchange of words.

People relay they care about what’s being said through their body language.

When people are eager to hear more, they lean forward. A tilt of the head is associated with interest and curiosity. Head nodding can be a powerful sign of encouragement, especially when the speaker is expressing a difficult emotional point.

Start trying to use these techniques today. If you don’t have an interview scheduled, practice on your friends and family members.

This is a way of life for high-performing hiring managers. It’s the defining element of how they communicate. Since it doesn’t come naturally, it’s something you’ll have to nurture and practice to become good at doing.

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