The most counterintuitive principle of interviewing is the discipline and art of listening well. It is the magic sauce, if you will, in the recipe of winning a person over to you and your company.
Despite this fact, hiring managers never cease to talk endlessly about themselves and their company, to the detriment of their recruiting numbers. 
In my recent road trips to visit numerous clients and prospects, I was reminded of this erroneous misconception and our need to revisit this topic occasionally, addressing how to bring about change to the way managers approach the interview exchange.
Where do we get the impression that people will be impressed by us and decide to change their lives because of what we say, or how much we know? Know this: Only the most desperate candidates will be impressed by what you say…and the best candidates will probably be repelled.
So, what do candidates need? They need to be understood.
Everyone likes to be understood, but it is never more important than when a person is considering a massive life change, like the decision to become a realtor, or to move from one office to another (or even buying a house for that matter).
In their moment of crucial contemplation, what makes us think that learning more about us will be the critical information that helps a candidate decide whether to radically alter their life? It might be how you’ve been trained to interview, or in some cases it could be your ego. How do we check our ego at the door when we have been presented with the sacred task of guiding a person through this big decision?
You may begin to think that I am suggesting that we not “sell” our office or ourselves at all. I’m not. I am simply saying that you must first thoroughly understand the candidate's story before you deserve to speak into their lives. In other words you must attract and not promote.
So, I want you to experiment with this idea. In your next interview, commit yourself to understanding the candidate completely. You accomplish this by asking questions about their story…with relevant and numerous questions. Get to know them and then ask them what they want to know about your company. Let them take the lead, and discover what the art of not talking can accomplish.
In the next edition, I’ll elaborate on why being understood is vital to recruiting and retention. I will offer a way of thinking about all of this that will change your goal of the interview…
Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.
