Do you remember your parents teaching you to be polite?  I know my parents did, but I never really put their instruction into context (I just assumed it was the right thing to do, along with hundreds of other things on the “right things to do” list).

As it turns out, this may have been one of the most helpful lessons they ever taught—both for me and others around me.

This topic was brought to my attention in a recent post written by Paul Ford on Medium.  If you’ve never paid a visit to Medium, it’s worth a look– especially if you have an interest in how technology impacts pop culture.

In his blog, Paul tells a great story about how politeness has served him well in both his professional and personal life.    Here’s a brief excerpt from his post:

Most people don’t notice I’m polite, which is sort of the point. I don’t look polite. I am big and droopy and need a haircut. No soul would associate me with watercress sandwiches. Still, every year or so someone takes me aside and says, you actually are weirdly polite, aren’t you? And I always thrill. They noticed.

The complimenters don’t always formulate it so gently. For example, two years ago at the end of an arduous corporate project, slowly turning a thousand red squares in a spreadsheet to yellow, then green, my officemate turned to me and said: “I thought you were a terrible [suck up] when we started working together.” She paused and frowned. “But it actually helped get things done. It was a strategy.” (That is how an impolite person gives a compliment. Which I gladly accepted.) She was surprised to see the stubborn power of politeness over time.

The lesson Ford teaches about politeness is both simple and profound.

It really boils down to one basic principle:  Listening and showing empathy towards those around you.

I’m sure that most of you would agree this is a good idea, but how do you apply this principle in the context of being polite?  Ford shares a couple of examples in his article.  This is my favorite:

Here’s a polite person’s trick, one that has never failed me. I will share it with you because I like and respect you, and it is clear to me that you’ll know how to apply it wisely.

When you are at a party and are thrust into conversation with someone, see how long you can hold off before talking about what they do for a living. And when that painful lull arrives, be the master of it.

I have come to revel in that agonizing first pause, because I know that I can push a conversation through. Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.”

Notice the empathy comes after the listening.  It doesn’t work the other way around.  It’s the combination of the two functions (in the correct order) that integrates to produce politeness and all of its wonderful benefits

Ford goes on to tell a few more stories and further substantiates the principle.  It’s a long article, but worth reading if you have more interest in this topic.  Be warned, it’s a little more edgy than I would normally suggest, but the underlying message is sound and worth considering.

As a final point, focusing on politeness for what it can do for you may sound manipulative.  I suppose in the wrong hands it could be used that way.

But, Ford suggests that true politeness is always rooted in sincere concern for others.  He has observed that the framework of the human condition is what makes politeness so unique:

People silently struggle from all kinds of terrible things. They suffer from depression, ambition, substance abuse, and pretension. They suffer from family tragedy, Ivy-League educations, and self-loathing. They suffer from failing marriages, physical pain, and publishing.

The good thing about politeness is that you can treat these people exactly the same. And then wait to see what happens. You don’t have to have an opinion. You don’t need to make a judgment.

I know that doesn’t sound like liberation, because we live and work in an opinion-based economy. But it is. Not having an opinion means not having an obligation. And not being obligated is one of the sweetest of life’s riches.

In this context, being polite is a high calling that very few self-focused manipulators will have the perseverance to accomplish over time.  To me, it seems politeness is reserved for those who truly care about the wellbeing of others.  That’s a high calling we all should pursue.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Ben Hess. Ben is the Founding Partner and Managing Director of Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. 

In a recent edition I introduced you to what has come to be known as Generation Z  (those born from 1995 to the present). The only generation to have been born into a full technology connected world; a group who will never know a life without instant information and connectivity to their friends and the world.

I ended the article telling you of some of the negative, fear based, predictions about this generation. I also hinted that this negativity was a minority viewpoint. It’s realistically possible that this generation might be more inclined to consider a career in your industry than the last few. How could I predict such a thing? Well, first let’s consider the positive commentary.

In her article “Get Ready for Generation Z,” Anne Kingston of Macleans sums it up this way:

“We’ve seen more than a decade of hand-wringing over declining attention spans, eroding social skills, online bullying and sexting, along with the worry that communicating in short bursts and emotions deadens the brain’s ability to think in complex ways. There’s also the debate raging over the elimination of cursive writing from many schools, and charges that the decline in traditional forms of learning such as memorization and rote signals a drop in standards.”

But…

“Amy Bastian, a neuroscientist at Johns Hopkins University, contends that the greater the variety of things you do in the fine-motor domain, the more you improve dexterity, but refuses to declare cursive writing is better or more important for a child’s development than printing.

Where one skill is lost, another may be gained. If children are less likely to dig deep and find out the rationale behind something, or to memorize it, says pediatrician Michael Rich, executive director of Harvard’s Centre of Media and Child Health, it’s because “their brains are rewarded not for staying on task, but for jumping to the next thing”—a useful ability in the digital era. Tapscott sees the term “multi-tasking” as an old-fogey misnomer: “What we’re actually watching is adaptive reflexes—faster switching and more active working memories,” he says.

Ms. King’s article also includes comments from Mark McCrindle and Don Tapscott, both of whom have conducted research on Gen Z. Check out their comments.

Gen Z are bellwethers, says McCrindle: “Where Gen Z goes, our world goes.” What that portends is seismic social disruption and the commensurate anxiety.

 “This is the first time in history kids know more than adults about something really important to society—maybe the most important thing,” says Tapscott. “[It’s] a formula for fear.”

Despite this tension—or perhaps because of it—expectations for a generation have never been higher. Forbes has dubbed Gen Z “Rebels with a cause.” The Financial Times posed the question: “Generation Z, the world’s saviors?” Tapscott says Gen Z doesn’t have a choice: “My generation is leaving them with a mess. These kids are going to have to save the world literally.”

What has set the expectations of this generation so high? And how would this fit into your industry? See if you can put the dots together after reading the following data.

New York based research and marketing firm Sparks and Honey found the following about the Z generation:

They make up one Quarter of our entire population and are growing daily.

They shop online more than any other generation.

They are eager to start working.

4 out of 5 believe they are more driven than their peers.

The rates of substance use and teenage birthrates among this group are drastically down (discipline and good judgment).

60% compared to 39% of Millennials intend to have an impact on the world.

73% of them were impacted by the recession at a young age.

A greater number lived in multigenerational households and have more respect for their elders.

They worry more about the economy and save more.

72% of them want to start their own business.

1 in 2 Gen Z’s will be university educated compared to 1 in 3 for Millennials.

44% spend over 3 hours per day on their computers in contrast to 22% a decade ago.

This is a very different generation. A majority have expressed the goal to start their own business. They are inventive and creative. They can’t wait to get started. This is one motivated bunch of worker bees. Entrepreneurial spirit and diligent work ethic fits perfectly into the skill set required to make good realtors.

But what will it take to recruit them?

I’ll give you two weeks to think about this material (I am going on vacation) and promise to summarize the findings by telling you how your recruiting strategies might need to change.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle.

If you’re going to build something of high quality, you must start the process with high-quality raw materials.  While this only makes sense when cooking a gourmet meal or building a piece of fine furniture, have you ever considered that the recruiting process works on the same principle?

It does.   You’ll never consistently hire high performing agents unless you find a way to feed your recruiting pipeline with talented candidates.

How do you find and engage such candidates?  According to a recent report published by the National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB), it’s not easy.  In fact, most small businesses cite this issue as the major obstacle to sustained growth.

NFIB owners increased employment by an average of 0.01 workers per firm in July…. Seasonally adjusted, 13 percent of the owners (up 1 point) reported adding an average of 2.9 workers per firm over the past few months.

Fifty-three percent of the owners hired or tried to hire in the last three months and 42 percent (81 percent of those trying to hire or hiring) reported few or no qualified applicants for open positions.

Twenty-four percent of all owners reported job openings they could not fill in the current period…. 

Let’s do some math on this issue.   According to the Washington Post, the current unemployment rate (July 2014) is 6.2%.  This adds up to 9.6 million people who are unemployed in the United States.  In addition, there are another 7.5 million people who work part-time jobs who report they want more hours.

That’s 17.1 million people who could potentially fill an open position.  However, the NFIB reported “81 percent of those trying to hire or hiring reported few or no qualified applicants for open positions.”

Based on this data, the general quality of the job candidates (skills, competencies, capacity to work, etc.) seems to be declining.

So, where are all the talented individuals?  They already have jobs.

As a real estate hiring manager, there are a couple of take-a-ways you can draw from this data.

Focus sourcing efforts on candidates who are already employed.   Many real estate companies are used to recruiting experienced agents who work for a competitor (ie. they are already employed).  However, recruiting  “employees” away from traditional jobs is new territory.  Strategies must be developed and executed to go after these individuals or you’ll be left to pick through a large group of mediocre candidates.

Develop strategies to help “employed workers” transition into the real estate industry.  Just because someone has a job does not mean they are passionate about their current employment situation.   It’s well-documented that many very talented people are languishing in their jobs.  Developing effective transition strategies (from the candidates’ perspective) is one of the best things you can do to attract talented individuals to your company.  If you’re more effective than your competitors at helping individuals make this transition, you’ll consistently hire more talented individuals.

Hopefully, these metrics will help you see more clearly what is happening in the employment market and how you can gain advantages as you compete for the next generation of agents.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Ben Hess. Ben is the Founding Partner and Managing Director of Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. 

My kids, ages 26, 29 and 31 (Gen Y’s) remember talking on the phone only in our presence because the cord wouldn’t stretch long enough to secure privacy (unless they hid in the pantry). They remember a home without a computer. They remember our first two computer monitors took up an entire desk. They remember getting their first cell phone… drum roll please…in High School!

Developmentally, that still put them way ahead of the curve in their ability to adapt to technology faster than their elders.  Their lives became more naturally entrenched in the means, methods and culture driven by technology. They know their way around a mobile device and computer like I knew my way around a record store (remember those)?

In a real sense, the older generations have had to some degree adapt to the accelerated pace Gen Y’s have created in using technology in everything we do. But, if you think that is fast, wait until we begin to see Gen Z enter the work force.

Generation Z’s are those who were born between (approximately) the year 2000 through today. The oldest of this generation will be entering college soon and the workforce soon after.  Have you begun to consider how this generation will prefer to buy, sell, interact and work?  What will set them apart? What is key to the way they function?

The obvious difference is that Gen Z’s will be the first generation who hold and operate a powerful computer in their hand as soon as they can hold an object.  (See my Grandson’s picture to the right).

Imagine the kind of changes that will occur with this type of early connectivity?

The study of consumer media habits was commissioned by Time Warner ‘s Time Inc. and conducted by Boston’s Innerscope Research. Though it had only 30 participants, the study offers at least directional insight into a generation that always has a smartphone at arm’s length and flips from a big TV set to a smaller tablet screen and back again at a moment’s notice.

The study’s subjects were split evenly between natives and “digital immigrants” (consumers who grew up with old-school technologies, such as TV, radio and print, and adapted to newer ones). Immigrants switched media venues just 17 times per nonworking hour. Put another way, natives switch about 35% more than immigrants.

The sponsors of Innerscope’s study believe that the new devices and the media-hopping they provoke render consumers less available to promotions and entreaties, as well as less inclined to adhere to the traditional beginning-middle-end mode of consuming content.

Generation Z’s are even more “Native” than that, and in fact there are a great deal of negative predictions about this newer generation. One popular book has named them the Zombie Generation. There is an abundance of studies that have actually found attention spans, vocabulary skills and deep REM sleep suffering in this latest generation.

While I am very interested in those negative effects, finding negative effects has always been rooted in the fears of the older generations.  And while moral, interactive and neurological decay are important for us to try to prevent, what are the possible positive changes to come with the Z generation?

What can you do to prepare a way for them in your industry?

What does all this mean for how, if at all, your industry will evolve?

What does it mean for recruiting?

What I have learned may not only surprise you, but excite you. In many ways, their proclivities for living couldn’t fit more perfectly into your industry, if you understand how to pave the way.

In the next edition on this subject I’ll share with you how to prepare for the fruitful coming of the “demographic tsunami” of 26 million of the biggest change makers perhaps we have ever seen.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle.

Summer is here and if you are like most people you find it difficult to put the same energy into your work that you do during the Fall through Spring months.

Something about summer conjures up the desire to hit the pool or golf course.

Perhaps we are conditioned through our formative years of summer breaks. Remember the Alice Cooper hit “Schools Out for Summer?” Oops… I just gave away my age!

Of course, conditioned or not, most of us have to work year-round in order to keep up with or stay ahead of our competition.

So how do you keep motivated during the lazy, hazy days of Summer?

I found an article from Entrepreneur magazine titled “13 Steps to Staying Motivated in the Dog Days of Summer” that might just help.

Here are the steps that I found most relevant and helpful.

Power through it. “It’s tempting to take a break, to slow things down in the dog days of summer. But there’s somebody out there who wants to be in your place. That person might be working on the next big thing that will compete with your business. That’s the motivation: Keep working and you’ll stay on top of your game.” – Troy Vincent, former professional football player and current vice president of player engagement for the NFL

Make a (reasonable) list. “Every night, jot down the things you need to get done the next day. Try to move through all of them, but if you don’t, just add them to the next day’s to-do list. Keep the list manageable during the heat of the summer and do your best to get a bit done every day.” – Liz Lange, founder Liz Lange Maternity

Create your own “quitting time. “It’s tempting to work around the clock or at least to feel that you should be working-and that means that you don’t have a feeling of leisure. By telling yourself, ‘After 7:30, no more work’ or ‘Sunday is a day off,’ you ensure that you get the rest and relaxation that are crucial to being productive. I remind myself, ‘To keep going, I have to allow myself to stop.'” – Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project (Harper Perennial, 2009) and the forthcoming, Happier at Home (Crown Archetype, 2012)

Indulge in small summer pleasures. “No matter how much you have on your plate, keeping a folder of fun summer events nearby and scheduling one a week will help keep you from feeling cranky or like summer is passing you by. If that’s too much, take a walk at lunch and stop by the ice cream truck. Indulging in small pleasures is very satisfying and energizing–but you really have to work at making this happen.”- Kate White, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan and author of the forthcoming I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This (Harper Business, 2012)

Revisit your vision. “In the day-to-day grind, vision can get lost, and entrepreneurs may end up miles off track. Take the summer to create a virtual vision board on Pinterest or with your team. When you write your vision down and keep it in front of you, it’s harder to get off track.” – Lain Hensley, CEO and founder of Odyssey Teams, a corporate team-building company

Take a breather. “On days when you work harder, longer and produce the best results, take some time to take a break. I urge all the Olympic athletes I’m training to get outside to walk or play with the dog, do some gardening or just lounge in the sun. Your work will be even more fulfilling the next day.” – Doug Graham, trainer, 2012 Olympics

Alter your routine. “The smallest of changes in context make a big difference in motivation levels. In fact, research tells us that changing our environment can lead to a burst of fresh thinking and increased drive. Sure, jobs vary in terms of how flexible they are, but figure out a way to switch things up: Take a meeting or two outside. Work from a coffee shop for the afternoon. Turn what’s usually a solo responsibility into a group effort, or vice versa.” – Samuel R. Sommers, associate professor of psychology at Tufts University and author of Situations Matter: Understanding How Context Transforms Your World (Riverhead Books, 2011)

Follow the 15-minutes rule. “Let’s say there’s a task that’s hanging over your head. Resolve to work on this task for just 15 minutes. You can stand anything for 15 minutes and by working on it bit by bit, you can get a lot done. The hardest part is starting, and knowing that you can quit so soon makes the task a lot easier.” – Gretchen Rubin

Find ways to walk–wherever you can. “When I work at my desk, I find myself getting sleepy, especially if it’s hot and muggy. But when I work on my treadmill desk, which is simply a treadmill with my laptop perched on top, I feel energized. Walking raises your serotonin level, which is good for sharpening attention, and amazingly, walking and typing isn’t that hard.” – A.J. Jacobs, author of Drop Dead Healthy (Simon & Schuster, 2012)

Expand your knowledge. “As the owner of two businesses, I use summer to learn more about my clients and their needs. It helps me recharge, do better work in the process and keep my businesses moving in the right direction.” – Chris Mulvaney, president, CMDS Marketing Agency

Never underestimate the power of an ice cream cone. “I run my business from home and stay motivated to finish my tasks knowing I’ll get to have an ice cream with my kids if I’ve put in a hard day’s work.”–Leslie Truex, owner of Work At Home Success and author of The Work-At-Home Success Bible (Adams Media, 2009)

To get started with following these tips I might just start with the last one.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle.

You made it through the recession, managed to keep your job and business is beginning to look better.

Some of you might use this period of relative stability to ride out this wave by coasting just a bit. Not push as hard. After all, it was a tough few years and you might need a rest.

While a rest and vacation might definitely be in store for you (I know some of you did not take one between 2007-2012), “comfortable coasting” at work might ignore the fact that everything goes in cycles and it might be time to use what you learned in the hard times to apply them in good times.

In fact, as business improves, it’s my guess that most successful Real Estate companies will be looking for those who are making the most of a good opportunity to be the ones to join them in a continued future. That means you must find ways to become indispensible.

Chris Gaborit, Managing Director of The Learning Factor, recently wrote two articles, one named 5 keys to Becoming Indispensible at Work and  5 More Keys to Becoming Indispensible at Work.

The following are five snippets from the 10 keys he laid out:

Exhibit the ability to get ‘stuff’ done

In projects, there are two key parts – the front end and the back end, people and tasks, marketing and operations, talkers and doers. If the key stakeholder is a talker, then you need to be a doer. They need you to keep making their projects succeed.

Treat everyone with genuine respect

It’s not just about managing well, but also about how you treat your peers, team members, and vendors alike. You never know who you may be working for or with some day, so treat everyone as you’d want to be treated and keep confidences when someone confides in you and wants some advice.

Be Truly Engaged

As one reader puts it, “In our business, we find time and time again that it’s the truly engaged employees who rise to the occasion – and they’re the ones you want to hang on to.”

Provide Exceptional Value

In order to do this well, you have to invest time, energy, and creativity to understand your clients’ and stakeholders’ business, goals, and requirements.

Are you a commodity, or do you differentiate yourself from others? Never be a commodity, always work to differentiate yourself, and stay hungry.

Multitasking Is Crucial

Multitasking is crucial, and being able to juggle multiple balls without letting many drop is critical to being considered.”

If you practice all of the above, I am positive that you will make it very difficult for anyone to even think about replacing you—either in good times or bad!

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle.