How does a person go about identifying their “ideal self”?  Some people have an idea of what kind of person they want to become—this vision just needs to be brought into focus.  Others haven’t really given this concept very much conscious thought.

Even if you’re in the second group, perceiving what your ideal self will be is not as difficult as it may sound.  Subconsciously, each of us is haunted by conflicts around this ideal, and your mind is constantly trying to reconcile these conflicts.  Tapping into the work that your mind has already done shortcuts the progression necessary to identify the ideal self.   

The following is a process that I have personally used to measure my progress toward living aligned to my ideal self. It may seem complicated at first, but it gets clearer as you begin to work on it yourself.  

First I try to assess how closely I can align my real self (who I am in both strengths and character) with my ideal self (the self that I want to become).  To make this assessment, I need to know the following things:

1. What character traits, virtues and actions I want to display (my ideal self).
2. What strengths and expertise I bring to the table (my real self).
3. What characteristics I currently display that  are self-centered (thus interfering with alignment).

Sit down with a notepad and pen and do the following: 

Write down a description (characteristics, behavior, values) of your best self. These would be 
those characteristics that people love about you, and are part your natural makeup. The best self is the alignment of your ideal self and real self.

Next, write down characteristics of your worst self (behaviors, values etc). These are the characteristics that people generally dislike about you and usually are rooted in dark values such as selfishness, need for admiration or superiority, excessive need for safety and security, etc.

Finally write down what is your “ought self.” These are those behaviors that seem like they are good and decent but feel forced, unnatural, and more of a burden. These traits keep you from being real. Sometimes, those whom you trust are better able to recognize these behaviors than you are. Ask them if they can share with you ways in which you burn unnecessary energy trying to be someone you believe you’re supposed to be. 

Once these are written out, condense them into a list that you can write on a small piece of paper that will fit in your wallet or purse. Throughout the year, frequently use idle time to review how you’re doing. Ask yourself, which self am I living today? Is it making me and others around me happy? How can I get myself back on track?

If you do the above, I can’t guarantee that your business will pick up. But I can guarantee that you and those you influence will feel better about you and you’ll have a better  measuring stick to assess how you did in 2009.  Then when the economy does pick up, you’ll be more poised to do better than you would have done otherwise.