Over the last week, you’ve probably had some time to reflect on 2008. Was it a good year? That depends how you look at it.
If you measure a year by things such as the money you lost or how secure you feel about your business, then for many, it was probably a very bad year. Immersing yourself in mourning the losses will do little to improve your ability to work well or bring you happiness.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. But science tells us that human beings are very poor predictors of what will bring them happiness. If we really want to be happy, then it is important that we live consistent with what truly brings happiness.
One of the truths that will bring happiness is living according to who you want to become. This is called your “ideal self.”
The “ideal self” should not be confused with the “ought self”. The “ought self” is the self that other influential people in your life wanted you to become. For example, your parents may have had strong opinions on what you should do with your life.
The “ideal self” is also commonly confused with the “ false ideal self.” The “false ideal self” focuses on false ideals such as acquiring wealth, fame, or security.
At your core, somewhere, no matter who you are, you have an idea of what kind of person you want to become. And the more you fight against this longing, the more miserable you’ll be.
It’s my belief that this “ideal self” is the self you were created to be. Some fight it more than others. But that “ideal self” is a self that lives by personal and universal values that guide every action.
Research of happy people tells us that they live by their values. They are in less internal conflict about what is important to them.
In my next article, I’ll outline a simple process for identifying your “ideal self” and give you some guidelines on living by the values you’ve identified.
