Over the past few blogs, we've provided several ways of addressing occasional questions that arise over the value of fees paid by agents. In my last blog, I shared details about my own journey of developing a private practice, and some principles I developed to make my approach to discussing fees more solid and less defensive. 
The principles are:
1. The fee is never the real problem. Figure out the problem. Always assume that the fee discussion is a discussion about something else. Figure out what the complaints are underneath the surface complaint, and ask what it would take to experience value.
2. Always do business with clients who appreciate the value of my work for them. In my third or fourth year of business, I decided to never again do business with people who are constantly finding things to complain about.
As I previously mentioned, applying these principles early and consistently has had an amazing impact on my practice over time. It grew to become a practice that needed no advertising or promotion to sustain itself.
Confidence is an incredibly powerful trait. Now when I say confidence, I don't mean cockiness, arrogance, or in any way believing that one is above others or is above making mistakes.
What I mean by confidence is an interesting mix of knowing your craft so well that you can be a tremendous resource to those who need it, yet not feeling the need to prove it. When you reach this level of confidence, you have the freedom to ask intelligent questions - questions that others may have never considered. But, if your focus is on forcing the issue of your knowledge or value, ironically, you begin to lose ground.
It's very much like watching a veteran, professional athlete who is comfortable "letting the game come to them" rather than forcing themselves to do too much.
Once I began operating from this stance, I was freed up to ask probing, non-defensive questions any time someone had a complaint, which allowed a free flow of information to be exchanged, getting to the real issues.
This approach has helped me to clarify, in each circumstance, whether I am working with someone who is going to be forever unreasonable, or whether the person is capable of actually talking through their complaints. As a result, I never get too far into a relationship with anyone who won't appreciate the value they are getting. I build raving fans without doing much outside of what I have mentioned in my last few articles.
The greatest performers, in any field, do this well. Their confidence and experience allows them to not force anything, be non-defensive about their value, ask questions, probe... and as a result surround themselves with people they enjoy being around - people who are meant to be there.
If you are new, I recommend you talk often with a veteran manager who does this well...someone who has a thriving office of agents who are loyal performers and teammates. Achieving this level of confidence and learning to "let the game come to you" are some of the most essential elements of being a great manager.
Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.
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