As I pointed out in my last blog, when people are undergoing economic and job-related stress, evidence confirms some important principles that determine what direction one takes. Namely, that under economic and job-related stress, either people grow and go on to achieve, or they regress and become physically and emotionally unhealthy.
I used the Jet Blue incident as a backdrop to launch some learning on what happens to people who respond like Slater and alternatively, what happens to people who actually reframe their current job-related stress in a different way. I actually received a comment from someone that implied that Slater (the airline attendant who threw a public temper tantrum) was not in the wrong. If you share this opinion, you are headed in a precarious direction. There is more than ample evidence that adulthood stress can help you grow, if you're willing to reassess how growth and achievement takes place.
Dr. Kerry Sulkowicz makes it clear that you are going to need resilience if you are going to maintain a clear head during tough times:
“Many psychologists consider [resilience] a key component of emotional health. Resilient people, they have observed, are naturally better at containing their anxiety. And that enables them to see in hardship the seeds of opportunity. What would emotional resilience entail in the face of the current crisis? The ability to resist being swept up in the global state of panic and to adapt as creatively as possible to one's setbacks and losses.”
We see this principle played out with our clients every day. Some people are not very good at containing their anxiety and they become paralyzed as a result. But, others are busy working to find new opportunities. We all feel the strain, but certain people have figured out how to use that strain as a catalyst for action.
If you find yourself in the former group, Dr. Sulkowicz has some advice for you:
“But just as there is no shortcut to emotional health, you can't become resilient overnight, or by sheer will, or by reading the latest book on the subject. Instead, resilience is acquired through increasing self-awareness. You must connect with trusted and candid intimates who help you build confidence. You need to repeatedly expose yourself to a range of difficult circumstances and then overcome them.”
If you are responsible for coaching those around you, you have a great opportunity to put this into practice. You are the “trusted and candid intimate” your protégés need to overcome their anxiety. Can you help them identify the things they are already overcoming? This is the foundation to build upon that can give them courage to take on the next challenge.
If you are struggling yourself, then you need to connect with others who can provide you support. The first tendency will be to just talk with those who will compassionately identify with your circumstances. Slater has an entire fan club filled with this sort of support....all people who are going nowhere fast. While sympathetic support is important, but we also need those “tough love” friends who can give us the push we need to take on the next challenge...
Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.
Comments