I like rules that make sense... Rules that have a purpose... Rules that are intended to make us more productive people. Although I've touched on it previously, I'd like to revisit the topic of rules that govern human behavior. Just yesterday I referenced the below material in responding to a client's question. Clearly, it continues to provide relevant insight for all of us.
Recruiting, coaching and work performance are governed by the rules of human behavior. The rules 
aren’t always as ironclad as the rules of the physical universe, but they are fairly predictable. While it may seem complicated, our job is to boil these principles down to rules that you can remember and practice on a daily basis.
Over the next few weeks, I will list and describe some of the rules regarding human behavior, and then dive into each of these rules in more detail in the months ahead. I hope you follow along for the ride.
Rule #1: The Rule of Relationship Credibility
Whether you’re recruiting new talent, coaching a team of high performers, or teaching others to recruit clients, you must understand the concept of relationship credibility. Ask yourself this question:
“Can I generally figure out when someone is exploiting me for their own purposes?”
I think most of us have a good barometer for detecting when this is the case. Likewise, those with whom you’re attempting to build a relationship can likely figure this out too.
If you want to draw in the very best talent, and draw out the most from them, then you need to understand what these individuals require from you. Talented people want to have relationships, be understood, and be associated with people who are credible.
How is credibility built? It is partially built through "process" and partially built through "substance."
The definition of "process" is "a series of actions directed toward a specific aim." Consistent and thoughtful follow-up on your part, shows that you are dependable. A well-conceived plan demonstrates integrity in your thoughts. If those around you perceive that you only make contact when you want something, you will not be perceived as credible. Executing and clearly communicating a process will prevent this from happening.
While process is important, substance is even more important. "Substance" is defined as "real or practical value or importance." The substance in any relationship is most easily developed by learning about the other person’s story. This is vital for managers because it gives both you and your (prospective) employee the opportunity to assess whether you are a good fit for each other, and whether joining your team fits into his/her life story. Genuine interest in the lives of your employees fosters the development of substance in your work relationship with them, thus fostering your credibility.
Here’s what you need to know: What drives this person? What are their ultimate goals? How does doing what they’re doing now fit into this goal? How does it fit into their financial, family and retirement objectives? How does it fit into their charitable affiliations? How does it fit into their personal development? The answers to these questions will illuminate the foundation of their life story.
If a person feels that you are genuinely interested in them, he/she wants to be asked these questions. Having this exchange will give you the most valuable tool known to managers: relationship credibility.
With relationship credibility, you can begin to integrate every conversation regarding business plans, sales objectives, and talent development into a person’s big picture. This will be experienced as authentic, natural, and mutually beneficial.
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