WorkPuzzle

The Do's and Don'ts of Interviewing and Hiring

I mentioned in the last edition that I would elaborate on why "being understood" is vital to recruiting and retention, and provide a way of thinking about it that will hopefully change your goal of the interview.  But, before I lay out the key ingredients to hiring and retention, I want all of us to agree on what doesn't work.

Recruiting the best new agents requires a thorough understanding of how the best recruits think and reach decisions.  It also requires an understanding of the natural conflict that occurs inside the minds of people further down the ladder of the recruiting pipeline...the people who are just beginning to ponder the possibility of becoming an agent.

Many managers have told me, point blank, that they have no time to waste on someone who has trouble deciding if real estate is right for them.  One manager said, "If I have to interview a person for more than 20 minutes, then the candidate isn't right for real estate."  Here's another one I hear a lot:  "If they don't have a license, then I'm not interested."

The managers who say this are immensely confident in their views.  For the first few years that I partnered with companies in this industry, I naturally had to respect their views because I hadn't seen enough to gauge the accuracy, or fallacy, of what they were so convinced of.

But now I've gathered ample evidence to suggest that the above philosophy of interviewing new agent candidates rarely uncovers the best candidates.  In many cases, this approach attracts the most desperate and insecure candidates, who fake cooperation and decisiveness just to get the approval of the impatient and narcissistic manager.  Much like dating, ineffectual people are attracted to abusive partners. 

Here's three statements that I believe have proven true:

1. “You cannot fully predict who will be successful.” 
2. “The smartest candidates must be treated with the upmost success from the first encounter.”
3. “The worst candidates are the most desperate, and are less likely to react aversely to rude and devaluing behavior by the manager.”

To continue the dating analogy... When you want to choose your (best) life partner, you assume that he/she will be understandably cautious and most likely not tolerate any sense of narcissism, correct? 

Fortunately, most managers I've met genuinely want to know how to interview well.  They are hungry to understand what's going on inside the minds of high-caliber people, but many have not discovered the secret sauce to attraction, and retention. 

When it comes to interviewing the best candidates, you have to change your entire mindset.  Interviewing well is counterintuitive to much of what many have been taught, such as selling features, selling the company, or selling yourself as a manager.  As I mentioned in the last article, the most talented candidates want to be understood before hearing any of this.  They don't want to listen to you drone on and on about yourself or your company. 

In addition, the best fruit will probably not be low hanging.  Any one of your competitors can find those folks--they're easy to find, but there is a finite number of them.  We have droves of apple orchards in Washington State.  If all the workers competed for the apples that had already dropped to the ground or that hung on the lowest branches, it might be easier work, but is it better?  The answer is no.  The best harvesters are those on ladders, working to get to the hardest to reach apples...the best apples. 

The better companies will be willing to spend time and energy to attract the candidates who are already good at what they do, but happen to work in different industries.  They will have the patience to court these people over several months of indecisiveness, licensing school, and occasional second thoughts?  To repeat -- The brightest and most motivated people will not say yes right away.  

Who, among you, is willing to turn over enough rocks and do the necessary work to dislodge those hard to find diamonds?  Doing this takes patience, consistent engagement, and finesse.

The finesse part is knowing how to talk to people who you suspect will become very good agents, but who might not be able to pull the trigger as fast as you'd like.  This is often the hard part.  How do you get them to arrive at "yes" without sounding like an impatient salesman?  The brightest candidates will resist that pressure.

In part three of this discussion I promise to detail the "secret sauce" to interviewing, hiring and retention...It's called "Attachment through Attunement."  

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

Interviewing and The Art of Not Talking

The most counterintuitive principle of interviewing is the discipline and art of listening well.  It is the magic sauce, if you will, in the recipe of winning a person over to you and your company. 

Despite this fact, hiring managers never cease to talk endlessly about themselves and their company, to the detriment of their recruiting numbers. 

In my recent road trips to visit numerous clients and prospects, I was reminded of this erroneous misconception and our need to revisit this topic occasionally, addressing how to bring about change to the way managers approach the interview exchange. 

Where do we get the impression that people will be impressed by us and decide to change their lives because of what we say, or how much we know?  Know this: Only the most desperate candidates will be impressed by what you say...and the best candidates will probably be repelled. 

So, what do candidates need?  They need to be understood. 

Everyone likes to be understood, but it is never more important than when a person is considering a massive life change, like the decision to become a realtor, or to move from one office to another (or even buying a house for that matter).

In their moment of crucial contemplation, what makes us think that learning more about us will be the critical information that helps a candidate decide whether to radically alter their life?  It might be how you’ve been trained to interview, or in some cases it could be your ego.  How do we check our ego at the door when we have been presented with the sacred task of guiding a person through this big decision? 

You may begin to think that I am suggesting that we not “sell” our office or ourselves at all.  I’m not.  I am simply saying that you must first thoroughly understand the candidate's story before you deserve to speak into their lives.  In other words you must attract and not promote. 

So, I want you to experiment with this idea.  In your next interview, commit yourself to understanding the candidate completely.  You accomplish this by asking questions about their story...with relevant and numerous questions.  Get to know them and then ask them what they want to know about your company.  Let them take the lead, and discover what the art of not talking can accomplish.

In the next edition, I’ll elaborate on why being understood is vital to recruiting and retention. I will offer a way of thinking about all of this that will change your goal of the interview... 

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

You Can’t Handle the Truth

“You can’t handle the truth” are the famous words uttered by Jack Nicholson’s character in the 1992 classic movie, “A Few Good Men.”   

In business, as well as any relationship, truth is either withheld completely, allowed to trickle out disguised, or delivered with excessive amounts of criticism and hostility.  I'm not sure which is the worst, but fortunately we are given a much better alternative -- clear, objective truth delivered from personal observation or concrete data. 

One very successful businessman and friend goes so far as to say “Everyone deserves the truth.”  He says this with a near religious conviction.  Whether positive or negative news, he believes that it's compassionate to always describe truth.  Without it, we are potentially lost, confused, wandering, underachieving, and less than our best.  One of the pioneers of organizational psychology, Dr. Harry Levinson said, "Leaders must be able to face and deliver reality if they want to lead well." 

When we believe that people “can’t handle the truth” we are typically projecting our own pre-conceived (and unconscious) views of the world onto them.  We tend to get bogged down by our old fears and become frozen in our current situation.  When in reality, people can't grow, and the current situation will not improve, without truth.  

I want to be clear here.  I am not talking about brutal honesty that comes across as mean, uncaring, or overly critical.  I am talking about direct and loving discussion about what we observe, and what we interpret as a result. 

If you didn’t catch the key words there--- they are WE observe and WE interpret.  Notice that I didn’t say “YOU do this—YOU do that.”  When you make your observations personal, you leave the other person plenty of room to disagree and to offer their own observations.  Using "we" is less likely to put the other person on the defensive right out of the gate.  A verse from the Bible says:  “Speak the truth in a spirit of love.”  This is the key...How you convey your message will largely impact how it is received.

If you have been waiting to tell someone the truth, do it compassionately, following this formula: 

1. Share your observation of the data –- Behavior etc
2. Share your interpretations of this data -- Behavior
3. Clearly tell them your expectations.  Leave no room for error -- Ask them to repeat what is expected.  

While I know these conversations can be difficult, you owe it to yourself, your company, and your employees to be truthful, even when it hurts in the short run.  We can't grow without reality.

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

Measurement or Holes in the Head

My reading list turned up an interesting article about "trephination," an ancient practice of deliberately cutting holes in the skulls of humans.  Stone age people were especially fond of exercising this technique, for no apparent reason.  The practice appears to be a historical mystery.  "It was a delicate procedure, with stone tools used to carefully scrape away and remove the bone without damaging the tissue underneath."  The good news is that the survival rate for this operation was over 90%.  The bad news is that it was absolutely unnecessary. 

Usually these kinds of practices make their advance in medical history after someone experimented with a medically or mentally ill person, and the person miraculously recovered, at which point the procedure is seen as the cause of the healing.  The next thing you know, everyone is getting holes cut out of their heads.  In learning theory, psychologists call this "superstitious behavior," meaning that we tend to repeat behaviors that we believe have caused a specific outcome, regardless of their power to actually do so. 

Baseball players are famous for this.  They might go 4 for 4 in hitting one night and attribute their improved hitting to the fact that they tried a new bat size that evening.  That same player will tend to continue hitting that new bat size the remainder of the season, despite the fact that their batting average actually dropped subsequent to the change.  

So, what behaviors could be considered your organizations "trephination?" 

The only way you could possibly discover these is to examine behaviors and tasks, measure, and report them.  You've heard the old saying... "What you don't measure, you can't manage."  It could also be true that "What you don't measure, may be a hole in the head!"

We have the advantage of peering into many organizations.  Some measure tasks and outcomes, and some do not.  Most of our clients like measuring tasks, and being able to predict outcomes on past measurements.  Others sort of wing it.  The ones that resist us asking measurement related questions are typically the ones who have become attached to certain ways of doing business, defensively holding on to them, despite little evidence to do so.  Then there are companies who do indeed measure, but blame their result differences on factors beyond their control.  Whether it's getting stuck, "only hiring experienced agents" or "interviewing the same way I always have," behaviors might exist that once worked with some people at some point in time, that no longer are effective with most people at this point in time. 

Psychologically, organizations that measure and are open to others' interpretation of the results, tend to invite questions, and sometimes even scrutiny, about how they do things and the results they produce.  In contrast, organizations that don't measure tend to become uncomfortable around questions pertaining to tasks and outcomes.  I imagine that managers of single offices vary in a similar way, even within the same organization. 

Clearly, if you want to extinguish practices that don't get results, and increase tasks that do, everyone has to get on the measurement bandwagon, and be open to acknowledging the holes you might be pointlessly boring into heads. 

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

Are you a Trusted Leader?

Leaders who can be trusted have a tremendous impact on those they influence.  Trust is certainly a part of the "level 5 leader" that Jim Collins refers to in "Good to Great."  

In a recent article, Dan McCarthy lists...The 20 signs that you can't be trusted as a Leader:

"Are you a trustworthy leader?  Take the assessment below.  Sure, everybody may do a few of these now and then.  However, if there’s a consistent pattern of multiple behaviors, then I’d say there’s a serious issue of trustworthiness.

1. You don’t do what you said you were going to do.
2. You over-promise and under-deliver.
3. You’re unpredictable and inconsistent.
4. You always seem to have a hidden agenda.
5. You’ll agree just to avoid conflict.
6. You never share anything personal about yourself.
7. You never seem to finish anything you start.
8. You have a reputation that says you can’t be trusted.
9. You’re never willing to take a stand.
10. You won’t listen.
11. You don’t seem interested in what’s important to others.
12. You gossip about other people and disclose confidential information.
13. You make decisions but don’t explain how and why you made the decision.
14. You often change your plans or mind and don’t tell others about it or explain why.
15. You come across as uncompassionate and insensitive.
16. You won’t admit your mistakes or acknowledge your weaknesses.
17. You misrepresent other’s views.
18. You’ll say anything to achieve your objectives and results.
19. You sugarcoat the truth.
20. You see others as a threat when they are successful or come up with good ideas."

And here are some quotes that you might enjoy: 

“Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work.” - Leadership Guru, Warren Bennis

“In leadership, there are no words more important than trust.  In any organization, trust must be developed among every member of the team if success is going to be achieved.” - Duke Basketball Head Coach, Mike Krzyzewski 

“The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.” - Woody Allen

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

Assessing the Real Problem

In my practice as a clinical psychologist, it has become clear to me that the initial problem reported at the first meeting rarely turns out to be the REAL problem.  In well over 35,000 hours of psychotherapy and individual evaluations I've found that, more often than not, the "presenting problem" turns out to be an external symptom of a deeper underlying problem.  I learned early on that deciphering the underlying problem is the key to alleviating the symptoms, disorder, or pain.

Within our own business, and certainly within the realm of recruiting, we witness the same scenario.  Humans are incredibly stubborn, short-sighted, committed to their biases and unable to assess their own blind spots.  Because of this blindness we need the input of others.  We need fresh eyes.  We need experts who know how to see through the symptoms and locate the core roadblocks. 

In order for an organization or office to flourish, the leader must be humble enough to actively be on the watch for what they might be missing.  They need to seek out their blind spots.  They should welcome critique.  Even Jim Collins found the best leaders to be "humble" in his well-known book, "Good to Great."  

Humility can be seen in several characteristics.  One that Ben and I have noticed is that humble leaders ask questions...lots of them.  They always want to know..."What's going on out there?  What could I be missing?" 

When leaders are humble, they demonstrate a greater tendency to actively search for the "real problem," rather than trying to fix the superficial symptoms...or worse yet, ignoring the symptoms all together.  Humble leaders don't experience a mistake or a failure in the company as an insult to their ego.  Because of this, they are free to self-examine and improve.  Companies and offices with this kind of leadership are the ones that thrive. 

In the next edition, I'll share some characteristics of poor leaders. 

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

How to be Fully Engaged

We, at Tidemark (and I, personally), are in the process of trying to simplify our daily workflow.  The purpose of this exercise is to free ourselves from extraneous, unproductive tasks, and replace them with more critical, strategically driven tasks, as well as free up time to think, imagine, and innovate.  This exercise has already taken an enormous amount of thought, and is likely to take even more.  But I'm optimistic that the end product will be worth it. 

I can already begin to imagine a more productive workday, where each task is laid out the night before; where I keep track of the time that I spend on each task (using the Toggl App); where I delegate tasks that should be done by someone else; and where I am freed up to research and develop new ideas.  

Our quest to achieve efficiency while maintaining the excellence in productivity that our clients have come to expect, has caused me to research and listen to experts, on ways that this can be done.  While I have written extensively on a number of research supported ways to improve engagement on a personal level, the following is a valuable exercise that we’ve found helpful for our staff. 

1. We re-worked and re-affirmed our key strategies for the next year.
2. We named three critical tasks that support these strategies.
3. We had everyone in the organization memorize these tasks so that they can improve anything that supports these objectives, and exclude the things that do not support the objectives.

Another exercise that I am personally integrating into the mix was found in the article “The Magic of Doing One Thing at a Time.” 

The author recommends being fully engaged at each moment rather than attempting to juggle several duties throughout the day.  I am fully committed to giving this a try.  The following are suggestions that I am most likely going to experiment with.  

“It's also up to individuals to set their own boundaries.  Consider these three behaviors for yourself:

1. Do the most important thing first in the morning, preferably without interruption, for 60 to 90 minutes, with a clear start and stop time.  If possible, work in a private space during this period, or with sound-reducing earphones.  Finally, resist every impulse to distraction, knowing that you have a designated stopping point.  The more absorbed you can get, the more productive you'll be.  When you're done, take at least a few minutes to renew.

2. Establish regular, scheduled times to think more long term, creatively, or strategically.  If you don't, you'll constantly succumb to the tyranny of the urgent.  Also, find a different environment in which to do this activity — preferably one that's relaxed and conducive to open-ended thinking.

3. Take real and regular vacations.  Real means that when you're off, you're truly disconnecting from work.  Regular means several times a year if possible, even if some are only two or three days added to a weekend.  The research strongly suggests that you'll be far healthier if you take all of your vacation time, and more productive overall.

A single principle lies at the heart of all these suggestions.  When you're engaged at work, fully engage, for defined periods of time.  When you're renewing, truly renew.” 

Just like our garages need a spring cleaning, by ridding ourselves of items that have become cluttering, so too our work lives require occassional cleaning to optimize talent, efficiencies, and focus.

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

3 Tips to Become a Better Speaker

Most of you who read our blog are frequently called on to speak to an audience.  Whether it's the agents you supervise and train, or the company you run, you’re called to motivate people through your words and what you have to say.

I speak to groups, both large and small, fairly often and must confess that I frequently trap myself with the erroneous idea that I have to convey as much information as possible with what little time I’ve been given.  When I fall into this trap, things don’t go well.  Often times, when I have little time to prepare, I force myself to drill down to a central truth and wind up driving home knowledge in a more inspiring way.

This faulty strategy of public speaking is exposed in a recent article by Daniel Pink, where Pink offers up three tips to help us better prepare for our TED presentations.  While few of us aspire to speak publicly at this level, the tips Pink discusses offer a much better alternative for all of us, regardless of the level of public speaking we do:

"1. Prepare . . . but not too much.

These days, very few TED speakers arrive unprepared and just try to wing their presentations.  That’s great.  Preparing is a sign of respect for your audience — and the only way to wrangle your ideas inside an 18- or 9-minute fence.  But lately I’ve seen a handful of people who were too prepared and too rehearsed.  Their presentations were so heavily shellacked that they seemed inauthentic; their ideas suffocated under all that varnish.  Remember:  Human beings, despite their imperfections (and sometimes because of their imperfections), are far more persuasive than expertly-tuned presentation robots.

2. Say something important.

There’s a big difference between saying some important things and saying something important.  Your goal isn’t to demonstrate how much you know or to catalog your many insights, but to leave the audience with one idea to ponder — or better, one step to take.   When people hear some important things, their heads nod.  When they hear something important, their souls stir, their brains engage, and their bodies prepare to act.

3. Say it like yourself.

Don’t mimic someone else’s style or conform to what you think is a particular 'TED way' of presenting.  That’s boring, banal, and backward.  Don’t try to be the next Ken Robinson or the next Jill Bolte Taylor.  Be the first you."

Keep the above tips in mind the next time you speak to a group, and please let me know how it goes...

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

Burgers and Fish: The Meat of your Business

Here in Seattle, we’ve been enduring a very rough winter that seems to have no end in sight.  I am currently watching snow fall as I write this.  One of the primary reasons for my impatience for a warm spring is the continued delayed chance to visit my two favorite places in Seattle:  Dick's Burgers and Pike Place Fish Market.  (Be patient and you’ll learn why this relates to your company and office...)

It occurred to me that I am certainly not the only one who has aligned my allegiance to both of these establishments.  Not only does nearly every Seattleite venture to both Dick's and Pike Place Fish Market, but so does the rest of the world.  You might not have heard about Dick's, but most visitors venture there for lunch or dinner, as steered by the natives.  Dick's is so Iconic that Sir Mix-a-Lot refers to Dick's on his song “Posse on Broadway,” Jennifer Aniston can be seen holding a Dick's bag on “Love Happens,” and in the song “Little Indian Princess,” the band, The Presidents of the United States, mentions wanting to "spend my loose change on a fist-sized ice cream cone at Dick's." 

Here are two companies where innovation will not be found among any of their company values.  Here is what Wikipedia says about Dick's:

“The simple menu has changed little over time.  It features fast-food staples, such as hamburgers, hand-cut french fries, and individually made milkshakes.  Dick's is particularly well known for the "Dick's Special," which includes lettuce, mayonnaise, and chopped pickles; and the "Dick's Deluxe," a quarter-pound version of the Special, with cheese.  Cashiers do not accept variations on the burger's preparation, or omissions such as asking for the burger without lettuce, but will serve the Deluxe without cheese.  Of the six locations, all but the Queen Anne location are without customer seating.  Each Dick's location only accepts cash; there are no ways to use electronic forms of payment.”

The Pike Place Market's flying fish counter is similar.  This is a business that brings in fresh ice and fish every day, cleans the fish, keeps ice on them all day, sets up the presentation, and cleans up every night, seven days a week, 365 days per year.  It’s a pretty simple business, and could be boring.  How do they maintain their focus?

How do both of these “boring” businesses keep people coming back?  Sure, for the Fish Market, it might have something to do with the entertainment inherent in throwing the fish across the heads of innocent bystanders, but I believe it is much more than this. 

I have had the pleasure of meeting and listening to the founder of Dick's, Dick Spady, tell his story.  One of the key features of his character that shines through in all that he says is his tenacious adherence to a specific way of doing business...“The right way, every day.”  He is so adamant about work ethic among employees, for example, that when employees call in sick, he personally calls each to ask how they are doing.  He then tells them how much they are needed for “our” organization to continue the great tradition of delivering thousands of burgers each day with a smile to eager customers.  

You’d think that employees would not appreciate that kind of accountability, but that's not the case.  I once met an ex-employee of Dick's who had a “Dick's” tattoo on her upper arm in memory of “the greatest place [she] ever worked.” 

To me, these icons of Seattle are great reminders of what great businesses are made of:  Visions and values that are engrained, not only in the beliefs, but more importantly in the behavior of each of its team members.  So what does your business or your office believe in?  Does that translate to every customer experience?  Do you hold people accountable to the company beliefs? 

“We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly.”  -Aristotle

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.

Another "Awesome" Blog

I just received an email from my truly "awesome" 77 year-old Dad who, over the years in his teaching graduate business students, has witnessed a dramatic increase and overuse of the word "awesome."  They have, in his observation, used the word so frequently in speech and writing, that it has lost its original meaning. 

How tired are you of the word "awesome?" 

Although I infrequently use the word, I'm embarrassed to tell you that I probably am guilty of its overuse and its misapplication...and I'm almost 52 years old.  I seem to recall the overuse of the word having its roots in my vocabulary around the year 1978...just prior to the debut of Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  I was graduating high school and remember a friend using this word to describe nearly every experience he encountered.  He was an avid skier, but had he lived in Southern California, he would have been a surfer-- if you get my drift?

In a search on the internet, I found a long list of efforts dedicated to banning the word.  Because the number of people who are becoming offended by the overuse is growing, it might be helpful to strongly encourage your agents and those who represent your company to actively monitor their own vocabulary, for proper usage. 

My dad (who has been a well respected professor and favorite among students) is about to retire from teaching.  Here is a one page handout that my dad is distributing to his last class of graduate students:

 

Optional Words for “Awesome”

 (You must learn to speak & write correctly.)

One of the most overused and incorrectly used words today is “awesome.”

The dictionary definition of “awesome” is:  “Overwhelmingly grand, breathtaking, astounding.”  Therefore, “awesome” is a suitable word to describe the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls.  You might also say that these scenes are awe-inspiring.  

Expand your vocabulary.  Rather than use the word “awesome” incorrectly, try using some of the “optional words” or other similar words listed below as more suitable to describe your feeling or observation about an object, person, or occurrence. 

OPTIONAL WORD	MEANING & Other Similar Words
Incredible:	-Hard to believe, astonishing, amazing
Fantastic:	-Expressing pleasure at something incredible
Extraordinary:	-Unusually excellent or strange
Magnificent:	-Unusually beautiful, superb, exceptional
Unprecedented:	-Unparalleled, a record, a first time, unique
Phenomenal:	-Perceived by your senses as remarkable, unusual, or rare
Unique:	-Only one of a kind, special, exclusive, distinctive
Wonderful:	-Exceedingly pleasing, outstanding
Miraculous:	-Regarded as caused by supernatural intervention, astonishing, unbelievable, and marvelous
Fabulous:	-Typical of fables, tremendously wonderful, marvelous, or great

OK Dad.  You've convinced me.  I will, from this day forward, stop over-using the word "awesome."  But, instead of using any of the words from this list.....I think I'll reintroduce the word "swell." 

---

Editor's Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, a Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you're an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the "comments" link below.